Ahem Just before the beginning of the month I flew to Malaga from where I took a bus to Marbella. I put my small but heavy bag into a property deposit box at the bus station before walking slowly down towards the Mediterranean coast, glittering under a perfect blue sky. I was excited but apprehensive […]
Category Archives: Ahem
2026 Ahem
QUOTIDIAN HAMMERHEAD HIPPO: February 2026
Ahem Rain and colder weather in southern England dominated the first few days of the [...]
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02
Mar
Mar
2026 Ahem
SCUDDED PROPRIETORIALLY TRIMMINGS: January 2026
Ahem, During this interminably long month of heaving weather, our far south-east corner, ancestral home [...]
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02
Feb
Feb
2025 Ahem
QUERYING PAKKELEG CONVULSED: December 2025
Ahem Our Christmas celebrations normally start after we celebrate Gwen’s birthday on the 12th, when [...]
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01
Jan
Jan
2025 Ahem
FOODELICIOUS WASHBOARD BELEAGURED: November 2025
Ahem, Richard and Marie, from Cholsey in Oxfordshire, where Alli and I lived just after [...]
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01
Dec
Dec
2025 Ahem
HYENA FUNGI HALLOWEEN: October 2025
Ahem There is a village close to the Toleza Farm in Malawi that goes by [...]
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01
Nov
Nov
30
Mar
Mar
Ahem The Malawi weather improved considerably in the first week and by the time of our departure the farm was experiencing some classic crop-growing weather: a couple of hours of determined rain and several hours of sun each day. On our last night we finally managed to witness a sundowner – watching the sun go […]
28
Feb
Feb
Ahem For just over a year, I have been enjoying the curious experience of our new and independent life in a small town in England. My only other similar experience is of Hassocks when our children were growing up. Uckfield suits us both very well. The key amenities for those of retiring age are in […]
02
Feb
Feb
Ahem Jessie and Jurrat came back from their stay in Luxembourg with Uncle Tank and Auntie Susie, and retook ownership of Jaxon, whom we delivered safe and sound after his five-day stay with us. Jaxon was an entertaining guest. His self-absorption is highly amusing whereas in humans it might become irritating. Alli had been urgently […]
31
Dec
Dec
Ahem Our Christmas celebrations are different to those of ten and more years ago. Now in our third age, we no longer go to pantomimes but to shows that would once have been fringe but are now mainstream, while the old mainstream is now nostalgia. This year I went with Alli, Jessie, Ella, and Sam […]
01
Dec
Dec
Ahem November’s weather became a lugubrious national talking point with deified weather presenters being lambasted for reporting what amounted to ‘gloomy’ weather. Grey clouds weighed down on southern England like the cover on a pressure cooker, but I wasn’t complaining. However, I did re-read Baudelaire’s Spleen, possibly the greatest poem ever on the multifarious subject […]
31
Oct
Oct
Ahem Ten minutes of light drizzle fell on the dusty ochre fields the morning after my arrival at Toleza Farm in Malawi, where I spent most of a month that is normally the hottest and driest of the year. Farm records show that virtually no rain had fallen there for nine months. However, gusts of […]
30
Sep
Sep
Ahem The English summer, impolite at the best of times, was damnably rude: it left abruptly, neither saying goodbye, nor asking leave to withdraw, nor offering excuses for its sub-par performance over past weeks. In its place we had rolling grey clouds, morning mists, evening chills, and repetitive downpours. Perversely, it then returned in mid-month, […]
31
Aug
Aug
Ahem Ella and Sam were formally wed on 24th August in Wadhurst Castle in East Sussex, a glorious culmination of many months of diligence and planning by the couple, aided by close friends and sisters. They designed and organised most of the event themselves after choosing the venue and catering. It was also the confirmation […]
02
Aug
Aug
Ahem, The simple scoreline did not truly reflect the embroiled imbroglio of the football match. It was a game of two halves: the post and bar were each rattled; there were fouls, handballs, swallow dives, hospital passes, and theatrical agony all over the pitch; six players were booked; two were sent off; two goals disallowed, […]